Detroit Women Leaders Association Chapter Meeting: Negotiation Mastery

[Music] So, Jen, can you turn your camera on and say hello? Yes. Hello. Good afternoon. My name is Jen Pac and I'm so happy to be here talking to you from my home office here in Northern Michigan. I am a delivery executive. I'm a principal in the cloud and custom applications group with Capgeemini. I've got over 30 years of experience and I have the opportunity to work with some of the world's largest corporations including Dominoes, uh Ford, McDonald's, General Motors, Kelloggs, that's just to name a few of them. I grew up in Tucson, Arizona, and I earned a bachelor of science from the University of Arizona and then I moved to Michigan and earned an MBA from Oakland University. I served on the board of the Michigan Council of Women and Technology for over 13 years. I'm married and I've got two sons who both live in Chicago. And in my free time, I enjoy trail running with my two Dobermans. That's a little bit about my background. And if we could now, let's move over into the presentation. Okay. Well, you can just pull your slides up and the floor is all yours. Okay. Doing that. here. Okay, I think we're good, right? I do not see them yet. So, try one more time. Let's try. Let's see. We'll share again. Here we go. Yes. All right. And just go to to slideshow mode and take it away. Okay. Let's see. Go to Are we sharing now? Looks great. Thank you. Perfect. Okay, we are going to discuss negotiation mastery and how to ask for what she deserved. As I talked about in my intro, I am married and in fact, today happens to be my 30th wedding anniversary. So, if that doesn't give me some negotiation credibility, I'm not sure what will. And we're going to jump here right into the presentation. This is a quick snapshot of CFGemini. CF Gemini is one of the world's largest consulting companies. And a little bit about our background and what we do. We have over 370,000 consultants around the globe and we are recognized as a thought leader in innovation. So I'm really proud of the work that we've done around the globe. Before I joined Calf Gemini, I spent over 30 years working in the automotive industry and in consumer packaged goods. One of the first global projects that I led for the autos, I remember getting to the conference room really, really early. I was prepping for my meeting. I found a place at the table. I sat down. People started filing in. I had my notes ready. A woman came over. She sat down next to me and we exchanged names. And then she said to me, "Hey, what department are you from?" I said, "I'm from it. How about you?" She said to me, "Oh, we don't like people from it." I thought to myself, "Oh boy, I'm in for some serious negotiating for this project." Any experienced project manager will tell you, you need to get to know your stakeholders and your team. And when my new friend from finance let me know that she didn't like it, I knew that I was going to have to negotiate a relationship. So, you see, we negotiate hundreds of times a day. You negotiate every day from the time you wake up till the time you go to sleep. And sometimes you might not even realize that you're in a negotiation. And negotiating comes in all different forms. You need to be able to realize negotiation when it's happening and get ready for it. So, let's talk about our agenda. There's over 20,000 books about negotiating on Amazon and there's no way that I can take you through the entire topic in 20 minutes, but I think we can focus on a couple of key points so that you've got some valuable takeaways. So today we're going to cover the three phases of negotiations, preparation, bargaining, and the close. And at the end, I'm going to share with you some valuable resources that have been helpful to me in the past. We're going to start with preparation. Negotiations are important for women because we don't do it often enough. Statistics tell us that women often don't ask for what they want, especially in the workplace. So, if you take away anything from the 20 minutes that we have together today, I hope it's this. Getting comfortable asking for what you want is a skill. It takes practice. And women who don't ask for things don't get them. And if you don't practice negotiating, you won't get better. The costs of not negotiating are real. So, I'm going to summarize a segment from a wonderful book by Linda Babcock and Sarah Lever titled Ask for It. And it's referenced at the end of the presentation. Here we go. At 22, just out of college, a woman and a man with the same qualifications are offered the same job for the same salary of $25,000. The man negotiates and raises his salary to $30,000. The man then deposits the extra $5,000 in a lowinterest account earning just 2% a year. Every year, the man takes the difference between what he would have earned and if he accepted the $25,000 and what he's actually earning. Then he adds that amount to the savings account. By the time he's ready to retire at 65, his account contains $784,000. over threearters of a million accumulated simply because he negotiated one time. Strong negotiation can empower women to achieve their career goals. Here's an example. You're on your way to the break room for some coffee. You bump into your boss. She says, "Do I think you do you think you'll have that update on the forecast by the end of the day?" This is the perfect opportunity for you to negotiate. You don't have to immediately say yes. She might be willing to accept Friday close of business, but you won't ask or you won't know unless you ask and confidently. So, you'll get better with small negotiations and you'll appear more confident and that can have compounding benefits to your career. A negotiation is a conversation and it's a place where we reach a mutually agreeable solution. So, it's not about winning or losing. It's about finding that common ground. And a woman's ability to find that common ground is a superpower and we can use it. So, I'm going to repeat an earlier point. The costs of not negotiating are real. So, we talked about the three phrases of negotiating and we're in prep mode. You're going to reframe and get ready. So before you go into a negotiating or go into negotiation, you want to learn and understand some things about yourself. And it might help to write down your strengths and your weaknesses. Highlight those strengths and develop some pivots or redirects for the weaknesses. And this will allow you to get the discussion back on track. The first thing you want to do is some research. Research your worth based on your experience and your skills. And if you're negotiating at work, think about it. What are you known for at work? Focus on the value that you bring to the company. And I say this because as you go into the negotiations, you want to be comfortable and confident with what you bring to the table. Gather data on industry benchmarks and company financials if possible. Anticipate potential push backs and be prepared for strong counterarguments. Roleplay the negotiation with a trusted friend or a colle colleague. Known your skills and know what you bring to the company. Do you bring clients, client relationships, or a unique or specific experience? Or maybe even some badass management skills. Name them and own those skills. Finally, practice. Practice those power poses. Before the negotiation, take a few minutes in private and stand in a power pose. Hands on hips, chin up. Research suggests that power poses can increase confidence levels. Focus on your goals. Remind yourself of your worth and the value that you bring to the table. This mental focus will radiate confidence in your posture. And this is true if your meeting is in person or virtual. channel that inner superwoman with the power pose. That preparation and that confidence really do matter. Women bring advantages to the negotiation table and we're going to talk about a few of them. Compared with men, women tend to be more cooperative, empathetic, and ethical. Women bring these traits that are linked to an increase in long-term value for companies. According to 2017 research from Laura Cray at UC Berkeley and Jessica Kennedy at Van Vanderbilt, women excel at generating goodwill through problem solving. This research suggests that women often favor a collaborative negotiation style and they focus on building rapport and finding solutions that meet everyone's needs. This can lead to more sustainable agreements, stronger relationships in the long run. And this is good news and we can use it. Women tend to excel at strong communication and these studies tell us that women often score higher in emotional intelligence. Women naturally bring a great deal to the negotiation table. However, let's discuss something else. Women are expected to be nice in negotiations. Women can also use this research as long as we understand what it means. The research tells us that it's important to be nice and be likable and that women's influence increases as she's more likable. So what we should not try and do is negotiate like men. When women try to negotiate like men, they get penalized for it. So once we understand the data, it makes sense and we can use that. Okay. Now, we're at a bargaining part of the negotiation. So, let's talk about the howto. The first step in a negotiation is to build a relationship. This starts that language of negotiation. We want to build a rapport with the other party and we want them to like us. That's what we were just talking about. This fosters trust and it creates a more positive atmosphere for that negotiation. So even though we have an end goal in mind, we also want to be flexible, be willing to negotiate different parts of the package. So maybe that contract that we're working on says that you have to be on site four days a week, but you think you could be as productive three days a week on site or 4 days a week or every other week until the first milestone is completed. be flexible and have a discussion and see what works for the both of you. We also want to go slow. Going too fast is one of the most common mistakes that negotiators tend to make. Don't be in a hurry. Be flexible. Be open to new ideas. You also want to focus on active listening. We want to pay attention to both verbal and non-verbal cues. There's always that question of who should speak first in a negotiation. And there's not a one-sizefits-all answer to who should speak first in negotiation. You can leverage what's called the anchoring effect by making the first offer. People tend to weigh the first offer most heavily so yours can set the benchmark for the negotiation. However, if you decide to do this, I want you to keep in mind that women tend to start too low in a negotiation. So, if you're going to do this, don't go too low. The last point to remember here is to focus on a collaboration. Frame your negotiation as a collaborative effort to find that win-win solution. So, as we do this, prepare for push back, anticipate resistance, and prepare strong rebuttals or reframing of your point. Negotiation is not a one-time event. We can use the negotiation as a collaboration for promotions and raises and project assignments. And the more you negotiate, the more comfortable and confident you'll become. We are still bargaining. Silence can be a surprisingly powerful tool in a negotiation. And while it might feel very unnatural to stay quiet during a back and forth, strategically, silence has several advantages. A long pause and a bit of silence can give you precious seconds to truly absorb what the other party is saying. Don't be afraid of pauses after you state that initial request. You might find that people fill in those uncomfortable silences with additional information that can be helpful to your cause. They might elaborate their initial on their initial offer or reveal additional priorities. And especially for women, when there's power dynamics at play, a welltimed silence can project confidence and authority, and it shows that you're comfortable in the negotiation, and you don't feel pressured to rush into a decision. Think about confident body language. Use those power poses again. Make eye contact and shoulders up and think about taking up space. Don't hesitate to take a powerful position at the table and on video. Think about where you are in the screen. If you're having that in-person meeting, go ahead and sit at the head head of the table or directly across from the lead negotiator. Spread your materials out comfortably to command space. Finally, smile, but avoid overly friendly or submissive postures. No leaning in or giggling. So, these are a few things that are going to help you as you start that bargaining. Now, we're at the close. A strong BATNA or best alternative to a negotiated agreement can be your secret weapon in a negotiation. It empowers you to walk away if the deal is not favorable and can increase your bargaining power. Here's a breakdown on how to build that BATNA. Start by considering all of the options that are available to you if your negotiation begins to fall through. For example, you might need to find a different supplier for the product or service. Now, this next one is a little bit of a hard one. You need to practice saying no to offers that undervalue you. And it can be difficult, but something we all need to practice. So, if an option is not right or not right right now, saying no is okay. And it can be respectful to say it. So, get comfortable saying no. Walking away with grace shows self-respect, and it can show authority and strengthen your future position. So keep your options realistic. While it's good to be optimistic, ensure that your BATNA is achievable. A weak BATNA undermines your negotiation power. So let's review a simple example. Imagine a person is trying to sell their car. They've got a potential buyer who's offering $5,000. However, they know they can probably get $7,000 from another buyer and they would not sell it for less under any circumstances. In this case, the $5,000 offer is not as attractive as their best alternative to a negotiated agreement. $7,000 from another buyer is the BATNA. You want to update your BATNA regularly. So, as circumstances change, revisit and update your BATNA to reflect your current situation. All right, we're going to keep going. Here we go. So, negotiation is not a one-time event. You can use it for promotions and raises and project assignments. And the more you negotiate, the more confident you'll become. When you receive that next request, you have an opportunity to negotiate and to ask for what you want. Take the time to believe in yourself. And like you're about to see right here, after all of the hard work that you put in, don't forget to thank yourself. And you know who I want to thank? I want to thank me for believing in me and doing what they said I could not do. And I want to say to myself in front of all you beautiful people, gone. Okay, I hope the sound came through. So, here are some resources that I found helpful for negotiation. Um, I have to confess I'm a reader. So, not only will I be buying Kim's story, um, Kim or Kim's book. I love the the book and we'll be reading that, but here are some books that I found helpful for negotiation. Uh, Never Slip the Difference, written by Chris Boss. Chris is a former FBI hostage and negotiator, and his book was incredibly interesting. There's tons of principles and strategies and key lessons for negotiating. Getting to yes is a just a textbook negotiating book. Howto's straightforward great reading. Um ask for it and women don't ask. Those are both by Linda Babcock and Sarah Lever. Those were mentioned earlier in the presentation. These books specifically have um options for women negotiators. They cover bargaining and how to manage your emotions. Expect to win. It's a fabulous book by Carla Harris. She's a former investment banker and she provides workplace strategies for how to show up at work and change perceptions. Just great reading. Um, and there's also some links at the bottom here that I hope for are hopeful for you. Here's my contact information. And then if anyone would like to connect, I'd love to connect with you and talk about negotiating. So, I would be happy to take some questions if anyone has any. Well, Jen, this has been fantastic. I know I personally got a lot out of it. Thank you. And everyone, I went ahead and pasted the book links and her contact information into the chat if anybody wants to grab it. And yeah, I'll go I'll start with this first comment from Natalie. And Natalie says, "This is such an underserved topic until you need it and then it's a last minute scramble." So, I'll go for it. Um, I think we have, yeah, I think we have time for a few questions. I'll go with this first one from Anna Maria, and she says, "How do I ask for more when the clock punching HR person is giving you the offer instead of your future boss?" Yeah, I think that goes to to reframing. I you know I think it's you know the one of the first things that I had mentioned was you know you need to know what the market situation is and that was uh one of the earlier things that I'd mentioned so I think it's know what your options are practice it and uh know what your value is and um and then u don't be afraid afraid to go ahead and ask um I would I would approach it that way that's Great. And so any any additional questions from the audience? Thank you so much. That's been a fantastic presentation. Oh, I think we have time for one more question before you um and then we'll ask you for some final thoughts. And Trianna says, "What if you really need the position and are lowalled?" I I think that it's it's very reasonable to um to talk about what your worth is and what you bring to the table and study after study will say that women don't do that. So, I think you need to to make sure that you're comfortable um coming into a discussion with um with information that that talks about uh not only why do you think that you have um you can't just say I I'd like x amount of dollars. I think you need to show statistically, you know, why your value um why you think you have that value, what you've already done, but also what you're going to be bringing to the organization in the future. I think you have to back it up and be ready for that. So, um the question's going to come. Be ready for it and um I think be firm about it. I hope that answers your question. Yes, that's wonderful. So before I mean I just wanted to add that sometimes you need to be ready to walk away too and that's not always an easy thing to do. I think that the whole best alternative have a backup. Um I think you know that every situation is not going to be your situation right now. Back to you. Well thank you. Well so as we wrap and before we move to our panel any final words of wisdom for all of our viewers today? Yeah, I think I think and I I think the video said it, you know, um believe in yourself. Um and and definitely think ask for what you want, but don't don't forget to thank yourself. I think we all work really really hard and sometimes we forget to thank ourselves for the things that we've done. Well, thank you so much