Grand Rapids Women Leaders Association Chapter Meeting: Authentic Leadership

[Music] Well, now we're going to go to our next presentation. So, Kendra, can you turn your camera on and say hello? Hey, team. How's it going? What a day, huh? So many great speakers. Yeah, thank you so much. You bet. Um, thank you Mon'nique. That's a hard act to follow. I'll be honest with you. Uh, at the very end of the day, I'm sure everybody's a little bit ready for a break. Um, do I need to be sensitive to time at all, Ginger? I know we're a little bit over. No, we're okay. Check it. All right. Go ahead. Um, do I need you to give me a permission to share my screen here? Um, let me chat. Let me let me Oh, okay. Try again. All right. It looks like that worked. All right. Well, thank you so much. I'm going to be talking a little bit about the intersectionality and the power of authentic leadership. Um, I think that I heard every single person today talk about being your authentic self. Um, but for me that hasn't been that easy. and and I bet for some of you, you don't always get to feel like you bring your whole self to work or your whole self anywhere um as you're walking through. So, uh a little bit about me um before I get started is I' I've dedicated my career to operational and revenue technology really focusing on growth, compliance, and turnarounds um in organization because I believe in a world of abundance and innovation. And over my career, I've supported uh 17 acquisitions with uh major brands like Verizon Shell in our hometown here uh of Patagonia. I've led three IPOs and um mostly focused on organizations and really driving 10x uh revenue growth. Most recently, um I've helped Docker uh turn around, that's the developer platform, not the Docker pants company. And now I'm leading initiatives at Sumo Logic, uh, where within the last six months, we've really gone from profit negative to profit positive. I enjoy building lean, high-erforming teams that make a measurable impact. And I'm guided by my personal values of truth, stewardship, and the transformative potential of vision. And I believe that the true essence of my work lies in presenting a vision and asking others to trust in it, whether that's buying a product, making a networking connection, or joining a company. And I think delivering on this promise is where we complete that feedback loop and ensure that trust is earned through those results. So I'm excited to talk a little bit about my journey with you. Um but before I get going, I'd really like to share um a little bit about um the moment that I was labeled a [ __ ] Um, so, uh, I want to take you back in time a little bit to, uh, my organization had just moved into the the very exciting time of open office concepts. And, uh, as I was coming around a corner getting ready for a meeting, you know, I I overheard my colleagues talking about me and and they used a word that really honestly caught me off guard. Uh, they called me a [ __ ] Um, which I think as women, uh, that's probably something that all of us have been a little bit familiar with. Um, I was a manager. I was in a pet position of authority. I was definitely killing my workload and I was about to lead this meeting where people were kind of just getting prepped for that, you know, first thing in the day getting their coffee together, small talk kind of thing. Um, and they were chattering about my their opinion of me. Uh, and uh, in my fashion, I decided to address it directly. As we got settled, I actually asked everyone a question and I said, "Hey, how many people here actually think I'm a bitch?" Um, and a few hands actually went up. They were hesitant, but uh they went up and I I thanked everyone for their honesty and then I just moved on with the meeting. Uh but that moment really stayed with me, not because I was hurt um but because it made me question, wait a minute, why did they see the me this way? Um I didn't see myself that way. In fact, I always tried really hard to be nice and friendly. Um why was I being misunderstood? How could I bridge that gap between who I am and how I was being perceived? And that label um this experience, it really became a turning point for me in my career. It started me on a journey of discovery, really auditing who I was, uh what was driving me and how each intersecting part of my identity was shaping who I am and how I was showing up in the world. And looking back today, it's it's easy for me to see that that moment really wasn't about a label. It was about a disconnect between who I was and felt that I am and how others saw me. Um, so I wasn't able to say, "Hey, this is who I am authentically and you guys are actually receiving that." And so it asked me, you know, it really led me to ask myself some deeper questions, not really about my role as a leader, but about who I am as a person at my core. Um, here I was being labeled for what exactly, my directness, my intensity, my drive. I really didn't know. But the experience taught me that it's not really about authority or titles. You know, it's something much deeper. And that's really aligning who we are with how we show up for others. So really, let me introduce you to the real me because if I'm not a [ __ ] who am I? You know, as a neurode divergent person, I may show up as direct and intense, but it's because I care. I want others to succeed. I want them to avoid unnecessary confusion. And I see my place as a role of making things clear and purposeful, and I want others to benefit from that clarity. But I also have ADHD, which gives me a lot of energy, but at the same time, a great approach to problem solving, but sometimes have a really hard time staying on task. And I oftentimes tell my team, "Hey guys, I'm really bad about meetings. I do back-toback meetings all the time." And and many of us are maybe familiar with that. And sometimes when I have a few me minutes between meetings, I try to get into a quick task that needs or respond to an email and it's really easy for me to get distracted. just ping me in Slack and say, "Hey, the meeting started a minute ago. Please join me." I'm also queer, which has taught me the importance of resilience and courage and being true to myself and answering questions about what that actually means. And like many of us, I'm a parent, so I know what it means to be patient, responsible, and really strive for a world that my children can thrive in. And I work hard not just for the results, but because I genuinely care about my team and I want to make their work easier and more impactful. At my core, I care deeply about my duty to make the world a better place and leave things better than I found them. And I've learned that really in the workplace, how I show up, it's most powerful when it aligns with my true self, embracing all the facets that make us unique. So, I'm not here just as a leader, but someone who deeply values clarity, purpose, and alignment with myself. In the corporate world, we're often encouraged to show only certain aspects of ourselves. Um, Samantha talked about that earlier, right? Like, hey, if you show up in that pencil skirt and that long sleeves, but really you have a lot of tattoos and you curse a lot, are you really feeling comfortable in that environment? Um, and I don't remember who it was that said it, but they also said,"Hey, you might be able to think you're in you're it's time for a new career tradition transition, excuse me, if you're not really bringing your authentic self to to work." And I think that's a great signal that it's time for you to look elsewhere. So leadership is more than authority, perform performance, or titles. You know, it's about who we are as people, our values, how we show up for others. It's about aligning people around shared goals and virtues and creating a space where that purpose thrives. It's about removing that friction between who we are and how we lead. And this is what leadership can be when we bring every part of ourselves to the table. Moving beyond labels and really aligning our strengths and embracing our differences as a competitive edge. It's more than just performance and authority, right? It's building that architecture of authenticity, authenticity, excuse me, and it's rooted in our values, our connection to others, and the perspectives that we bring as unique individuals. Um, so to get to this authentic place of leadership sounds wonderful, right? It sounds like what stars and rainbows and you know, all of that great stuff, but really it's a deep dive into who we are. And just like any complex system, our leadership journey requires auditing each unique element that shapes us. And that starts by asking some honest questions about ourselves and the qualities we hold. So leadership isn't something we define once and set in stone. I like to think of it as a journey that requires continuous discovery. And just like an organization needs to understands its processes and goals, it needs to understand that why. We as individuals need to understand the elements of who we are. Getting closer and clearer to about our values, recognizing our strengths, embracing our identities, and even acknowledging the challenges that we're facing along the way. So, I think every leadership journey and every journey that is really about who we are starts with these questions and they're just the beginning. Uh, I'd like to you to reflect for a moment just on what aspects of yourself are most central to your identity. I shared some of the things that I think about myself are central and I'm just going to give you a couple seconds to think about it right now. feel free to drop something in the chat uh if you want to share, but this is really just time for you. Right. Our identities aren't singledimensional though, right? You maybe thought about a couple of things. Being a parent's really important, my physical fitness activity is really important. My love of Taco Bell is really important. Um, we're all made of these intersecting layers that really influence how we see the world and respond to it. Um, each part, whether that's our culture, our experiences, the roles that we have as we move through life, gives us a really distinct lens. It shapes the way we think, the way we connect with others, and the way we lead. For me, these different facets have taught me the importance of showing up as my full self and honoring the full selves of others that I work with. When we understand these layers within ourselves, we can gain a unique perspective that can be a powerful strength, not just in our work lives, but in our lives in general. So again, another question for you. How do the intersecting parts of your identity shape your unique perspective on the world? I'd like to share a little bit of a story about when I saw the intersecting parts of my identity teach me something important about perspective. Early on in my career, I was in a meeting where I think we've all been there. There's a high stakes uh project. Maybe you're behind, the stress is high. Uh maybe you're getting snippy with your co-workers and it's easy to point fingers to be like, "Well, you were a day late on that report and so, you know, now I've got a little bit of an entitlement to be late for what I need to do, too." Uh my mind was going in a lot of different details that others hadn't really considered. I was seeing connections that others were missing, and my direct communication style allowed me to ask the questions that really challenged the approach that you were that we were taking on that product um excuse me, project. Um but sharing those ideas was not coming easy to me. My thoughts felt really complex. They felt really different from the way other people were approaching the problem. Um and you know my insights were really frequently being overlooked and dismissed. So from my perspective I realized the problem was how I was communicating. And uh I I love that um that Lisa had mentioned, you know, we got to understand how we are communicating with others because it's so key. And I really needed to to find out it wasn't about my volume. It wasn't about my presence. It was about finding a way to translate my personal perspective into a narrative that resonated with others. My goal was to express the vision that I saw, the connections that I saw, and articulate some of those complex ideas in ways that others could understand and actually make use of. That experience taught me how others perceive us can really create barriers, but we do have the power to manage those expectations and those perceptions. finding my personal voice was a way of aligning how I saw the world um and how I showed up for others and helped me really bring my perspective to the table. Um other perception can merely limit the impact of our unique insights. Uh it can limit our impact as leaders and co-workers and friends and family members and we can bridge those gap those gaps excuse me. How others see us doesn't really define us, but how we manage it can be the key to getting our voices heard. Again, I didn't index to that [ __ ] label, right? I didn't say, "Well, everyone just thinks I'm this terrible person, so I'm just going to be this terrible person." I really wanted to understand what I was doing, what I was saying, how I was approaching my interactions to really understand how I could influence that, and what I could do with that. So, I'd like to ask you now what I was asking myself then. How do others perceptions of you impact you? And how do you manage those perceptions? For a long time, for me, it felt like I had to fit a certain mold, especially in professional settings. I will tell you hands down, a decade ago, who I was in the office is not who I am in the office today. I'd adjust my words, my tone, my demeanor. Even I dressed differently. I'd be more bubbly and smiley than I actually felt just to avoid the inevitable questions of, "Did you sleep well? Are you in a bad mood?" When I was really fine, just not performing the version of myself people expected, you know, resting face. Anybody else have that problem? And over time, you know, I really realized that constantly putting on a more palatable version of myself, it's not just tiring, it was holding me back from showing up as who I am. And I began to see the things I used to adjust or hide. You know, I wouldn't be as direct. I wouldn't ask questions that I had because I was afraid of interrupting people. I was afraid of every nobody else is asking this question, so therefore, I must be the dumb one and I'm just going to go try to find the answer on my own. um they were actually my strengths and embracing those qualities without apology really became the foundation of my own personal self-acceptance. So integrating that self-acceptance into how I move through the world means being upfront about my needs and allowing myself to lead authentically. For example, there are certain things that my autistic, you know, that for autistic people such as myself experience. I have a really hard time processing transitions or dealing with abrupt changes and sensory elements like fluorescent lighting or chaotic meeting setups. It can be really distracting to me to the point of frustration. But for years, I would just bury that deep and I would go into like my own little cave and not really be participating in meetings because I felt so overwhelmed. I felt like they didn't bother anyone else. Why were these things bothering me? I don't want to make a fuss about them. But now I'll speak up. If I walk into a conference room with glaring fluorescent lights and no clear agenda, I might say something like, "Hey, I'm sure the lights aren't bothering you guys, but I'm photosensitive and I'm finding them really distracted and I really want to be present in this meeting here. Can we turn a single bank of lights off or maybe open the windows and get some natural light in here instead?" And in that same meeting, again, knowing there's no agenda, I might say something like, "What would make us feel successful by the end of this meeting? How will we know we're on track? What will we do if we get off course?" My personal self-acceptance to feel like I'm not a burden, that these things that I need to participate fully, it's not a problem for other people to accommodate that. Most people are extremely gracious and it gives them an opportunity to really connect with you and understand what you need. It's given me the confidence to communicate what I need and also lead in a way that aligns with my values and strengths, creating a more focused and effective environment for everyone. So again, I have a question because I love asking questions. I think they're really helpful for us to start diving into really interesting areas. In what ways do you integrate your own personal self acceptance into how you move through the world? As leaders and as women, we're constantly balancing what parts of ourselves to bring forward and what's parts of ourselves to hold back. Sometimes we reveal aspects of ourselves that are easy to understand or they already align with others expectations. While other parts maybe stay hidden, not because they aren't valuable, but because they may feel too personal, too vulnerable, or maybe even too different from what other people are used to. That's definitely how I used to feel about how I saw things and how things are connected. I felt it was too different. It was too out there. Nobody's really going to understand that. I shouldn't say anything. But for me, I've learned to be selective about when and how I show certain parts of myself. I might share my directness and analytical mind in a meeting where that where they add clarity and focus, but there are times when I really hold back. For example, the way I process information and connect ideas, it's not always easy for others to grasp. And I've learned to gauge the room, really choosing when it makes sense and it's going to be productive to bring those things forward. And it's better to let others lead in their own way. For me, it's not about hiding who I am. It's about understanding which aspects of myself are going to create the most connection in any situation. And embracing this balance really allows us to be authentic while also meeting others where they are. So, I'd like to ask you to consider what parts of yourself do you show? What parts of yourself do you choose to hold back? Why is it intentional or is there some fear there? Is there a I won't be accepted if I if I bring this forward or is it it's just not the right time? These aren't the right people that can really honor and accept that. Does this feel like you're honoring your needs and perspectives or does it feel like you're masking them? Leading authentically is powerful. I I think that that's something that we've learned all day with everything that we've heard with the paddle with a panel, but it also requires a lot of energy. Showing up fully, being present, engaging deeply, it's really rewarding, but without boundaries, it can also be really draining. I've learned that to be effective myself, I need to balance the energy I give with the energy that I keep. For me, it can look a little bit crazy from the outside. I'm not going to lie to you. I need a lot of alone time to recharge. I am essentially an introverted person, but I also need stimulation and connection that comes from engaging with others where I feel the spark of ideas and inspiration as they flow. And for me, it's a constant balancing act between honoring my introverted nature and seeking the insights that come from interactions with others. So for me, balancing energy is about honoring our well-being as part of our leadership strategy. When we protect our time and mental space, we don't just preserve our energy. We also model healthy boundaries for those around us. I I loved when Denise mentioned you got to protect your time, right? If everybody's reaching out all the time, they want to pick your brain, they want to do things, it's it's really difficult for you to focus on, wait a minute, is that where I want my energy to go. So, I'd like to ask right now, how do you balance your energy and protect your well-being while you're still leading authentically? And finally, when we bring our whole selves to our work, it really, honestly, it has a powerful impact on those around us. Um, earlier this year, I went to leave an organization and 20% of the company signed a petition uh to bring me back. It was really interesting as I was talking about a an HR person they had brought in to consult on this, she said, "Look, I've been in this industry for 50 years. I've never seen anybody do this." So, how did I co go from people being a little bit irritated, calling me a [ __ ] I'm leading this meeting to a whole organization saying, "This person's valuable. We like this person. We need them here." Authenticity, it's not just something that we carry internally. It creates an environment where others feel safe to also show up as they are. One of my personal virtues is truth. And for me, embracing who I am has had a ripple effect on my team and colleagues. When I show up with openness about my dur neurode divergence, for instance, or I talk openly about the importance of well-being, it signals to others that they don't have to hide parts of themselves either. It creates a space where we can all be more honest about our strengths, our needs, even our struggles. We find more ways that we are alike than we are different in these environments. This openness builds trust and it leads to stronger connections. And the more we encourage those around us to bring their full selves to the table, the more innovative and resilient our teams become. So I'd like to ask you, how does who you are impact those around you? Think about how your own authenticity might create positive changes in the environments that you interact in. When we bring our wholesales to work, it has a really powerful impact on those around us. It's fosters a space where others feel safe and it's a great place to be quite frankly. We kind of just talked about a couple of questions and now we're going to talk about the answers, right? How do you really do some of that self- introspection? How do you really find out, well, who am I? What are the things that are important to me? What are my virtues? What are my values? and how do I use those to guide the decisions that I make and what I'm presenting and putting out in the world. They're not just ideals, they're practical steps that can create more innovative, resilient, and connected teams. So, let's dive into this framework a little bit together. Authentic leadership starts with defining your core values. It's the principles that guide your decisions and actions and give you a foundation to build upon. Imagine how your leadership could transform if you had unwavering clarity about what what matters most to you. What allows you to make every decision from a place of alignment with those values? I already mentioned one of my personal values is truth. Another one is stewardship. And the third is the reality of alchemy. And nearly every decision I make can be tied to one or more of these values. To me, each of us also brings a rich blend of experience, background, and identities that really help how we shape, excuse me, help how we see the world. Embracing your intersectionality means embracing those complexities as a source of strength. And sometimes they're contradictions. As I mentioned, I'm introverted, but I also want that activity. I want that interaction. I want that connection. What do you think could be possible if you leaned into your unique your unique perspective and used it to shift how your team approaches challenges? How you're able to bring fresh ideas to the table and new ways of thinking? And your perspective is valuable, even if it's different from those around you. Honoring this means finding ways to share it, even when it challenges the status quo. Imagine what you could accomplish if you could communicate your unique vision in a way that truly resonates not just with yourself but others. Bridging the gap between how you see the world and how others see it. And self-acceptance is about embracing all of those different parts of ourselves. Your strengths, your quirks, even the things that make you feel really, really different. I was feeling so nervous coming in today. I've never spoken to a group of people like this about a subject that I'm not like coming in and I'm like I'm the expert. I know how this billing process workflow works. Let me tell you that makes me feel really nervous to be honest with you. But when I stop spending energy hiding parts of myself, I feel free to show up fully in every aspect. Even if I'm stumbling over my words, even if I'm still feeling a little bit nervous and like, "Oh, what's the next slide? I better go check this over here." How much more do you think we could achieve if you didn't have to hide any part of yourself? Finally, setting boundaries for balance. It's essential to maintain your energy and well-being, especially when you're leading from that place of authenticity. Setting boundaries allows you to give your best without depleting yourself because you can't give anything if you don't have anything left to give. Imagine what more you could achieve if you treated your energy as a valuable resource, protecting it so you could invest in the things that matter most to you. And authentic leadership, it's a just not just about our own values and strength. It's about creating a space where others feel empowered to do the same. When we foster an environment where everyone feels safe to take risks, ask questions, share ideas, even when they're not fully formed, we create a team that's truly able to be innovative, resilient, and aligned. I'd like to tell you just a brief story about something that happened with an organization I was working with in 2020. Um, they were hit really hard by COVID, like a lot of organizations were, and they had to lay off 20% of their workforce. The CEO went to the company. It was a small organization, less than 200 people, and he said, "Guys, I have to lay off 20% and I don't I'm having a hard time doing it. I I don't want to do it. I don't think anybody deserves to um lose their job, but we just lost some of our biggest contracts, and we're going into the summer period where all of our events and all of our trade shows have been ended. And I just don't know how we're even going to get through the next six months without that. That's 80% of our pipeline we build in three months. employees got together and they came back to the CEO and they said,"None of us want to lose lose our job. What if we all took a pay cut?" Um, they did a calculation and depending upon uh what pay rate folks were at, people took anywhere between a five and a 20% pay cut. 6 months later, that company was doing so so well that not only did the CEO raise everyone back to the salary that they were at, he was able to pay them back all of the money that they had taken out of their own pockets. That company had 3xed in the next year, going from just under 200 employees to 600 employees, and it 10xed its revenue. that vulnerability, that ability to bring these innovative ideas together, it empowered teams in ways that they they came with a solution that worked for everyone and it didn't impact anyone negatively. So, think about what it would mean to create a space like that where each person on your team feels both safe and empowered to contribute fully. Bringing your whole self to leadership, it really starts with knowing ourselves. And our greatest impact often comes not from that title, not from that role, but our willingness to show up as we are. Bringing our strengths, our values, our weirdness to the table. And I really believe and I can really truly say I definitely believe that we create environments when we lead authentically where trust and innovation thrive where our teams feel good feel safe and solve problems in ways that we can't think of on our own. It this framework isn't really a destination. It's a journey obviously that grows with us. So, as you move forward, I encourage you to reflect on what it means for you to lead authentically. What values will guide you? How will you honor the unique perspective you bring? And perhaps most importantly, how will you create a space where others feel safe to do the same thing? That's all I got from you guys. Uh, here's to leading with heart, purpose, and authenticity. Authenticity. I cannot say that word from the inside out. Well, Kendra, thank you so much for that beautiful presentation. Do you have time for maybe one or two questions? I have time for questions. Shoot. All right, I'll start with this one from Agatha. Agatha says, "I also need alone time to recharge my social battery." How explain that to others when planning a trip? I think that's a great question. Um, and I think that for all of us, it's going to be different. Um, for me personally, I like to say, "Look, I really want to spend some time with you, but right now I want to spend some time with myself. It's not because I don't like you. It's because I need time with myself." Right? It's not a I'm pushing you away disconnect. It's I want to make sure the time that we have together is good. I want to make sure it's fruitful. I want to feel like I can give you the energy in that exchange and interaction together. And in order to do that, I also need to make sure that I'm focusing time on myself in whatever way that might look like. You know, I've had people reach out and say, "Hey, you want to get together Friday night?" And I'll say, "Actually, I have plans with myself. Thank you very much." Um, and it seems like people can really start to understand that. I think we all need time to oursel. It's just how much of that. And that's where sometimes conflict comes in relationship. For any of you guys that have a partner, obviously that can be a very intense situation, especially when you're cohabitating and somebody wants to spend 80% of their time with you, but maybe you're a 50enter. Communication is the key to bridging that gap. That's great advice. Thank you. All right, we're going to be our final question, then I'll ask you for final words as we close for the afternoon. And Fallon says, "How much should I share with co-workers when I'm struggling at home?" Oof, you know, that's tough, right? Um, and and I think that really the key is you've got to be comfortable, right? What you might share with one person might be a different level of detail than another. What I'm sharing with my HR business partner that I talk to once a month might be, I need to take some time off of work because I'm I'm having a medical procedure. What I'm sharing with my best friend, project manager, might be, hey, I'm having a biopsy. I'm actually pretty nervous about it. Um, you know, I have a history of cancer in my family and um, you know, just I I hope that you're thinking about me. And oftentimes, this is a real story that I'm telling that person brings up their own struggles and it creates a it creates a connection again. So, I think you really have to gauge who you're talking to and and where do they sit in your social circle. You know, I like to think I have my intimate inner circle, then I have that sort of middle layer of acquaintances, and then further out, it's people that are a little bit more permeable that I might not see very much. What I'm going to share and and to whom, it's highly dependent on where they land in that social circle. And I think that that's something that you really just need to go with your gut and say, look, am I comfortable sharing this? Is this something that this person is going to be able to receive in the way that I intend? um or is it potentially going to harm me in a way um that that I'm I'm not really interested in or that is is frightening or potential potentially harmful. So in that regard, I think you know listening to yourself and listening to your gut is the best uh advice I can give. That's great. Well, as we close for the day, any final words of wisdom for all of our viewers today? Uh you guys, the the world is being built by us today, every day, how we move through the world. Um and it's exciting to see everyone here. Um both those of us that are sharing our our skills and our knowledge and our backgrounds and those of us that are uh taking advantage of that um as others are are sharing um and improving ourselves. So I I just want to say thank you. I have a lot of gratitude for you taking a large chunk out of your day. For some of us us it's end of quarter. There's a lot of stuff going on. Um and uh that's an investment that's worth patting yourself on the back for. Thank you. Well, thank you so much. Well, thank you to all of our viewers today, both our panel members and our keynote speakers. And thank you to all of our viewers as well. Without all of you, these events would not be possible. So, until next time, this is Ginger Wattley signing off. Have a great evening everyone.